A Female Christ And Other Miracles Of Demo(n)cracy In Nigeria By Ogaga Ifowodo

Columnist: Ogaga Ifowodo
The ugly spectacle of the "street fight" that broke out in the Rivers
State house of assembly on 9 July gives further and better particulars
of our determination to forever make nonsense of representative
governance and a fool of ourselves. Inthe even more shaming light of
attempts at justification by a protagonist of the latest episode in
our unending political theatre of the absurd, I restate my view that
perhaps our political predicament liesin the insistence on practising
democracy without democrats. And in far too many instances, with
near-illiterates, which is worse — if comparatives make any sense at
this point. "Honourable" Evans Bipi, one ofthe chief brawlers in the
aforementioned incident, is currently the butt of jokes for confessing
that he was provoked into violence when a colleague blasphemed Jesus
Christ in the person of Mrs. Patience Jonathan.
I am unable to say whether this is a tragic or a comic statement, but
I see the laughable in it: unbeknownst to us and the world, a female
Christ — and a black one at that! — not only chose Nigeria for her
unheralded and closely guarded abode on earth, but also chose to
reveal herself to one man alone, allegedly her cousin and die-hard
loyalist. After which, she swore him, at pain of hell, to secrecy.
Until not even the never-quenching fires of hell could make him keep
the secret. Such is the maddening power of an insult! In the vortex
of his rage, Bipi blurted out to those who tried to restrain him,
thus, "Why must he be insulting my mother, my Jesus Christ on earth? .
. . I can't take it!" The "he" is "Honourable" Chidi Lloyd, majority
leader of the house. It is not known what insufferably blasphemous
wordsLloyd spoke.
And, yes, I say that our greater tragedy, to attempt putting a
metaphorical gloss on the point, may well be seeking to make
democratic bricks without straw. On that Bloody Tuesday in Port
Harcourt, the legislators had reconvened to discuss an amendment to
the state's 2013 budget. The house had been forced toadjourn
indefinitely due to the fact that the legislators were deadlocked in
opposing camps created by the series of events surrounding Governor
Rotimi Amaechi's widely publicised difficulties with his People's
Democratic Party and President Jonathan. In the ensuing melee, some
legislators were injured and property was destroyed. Curiously, the
police, who had been invited by the speaker to keep the peace at this
expectedly contentious sitting, and who had cordoned off the assembly
premises, were content to look on. It was not until Governor Amaechi
arrived with a detachment ofGovernment House security men that some
order was restored. Upon his departure, a gang of five led by Bipi,
sitting without their fifth member who was by now being treated in a
hospital, impeached the "pro-Amaechi" speaker, "Honourable"Otelemabala
Amachree, and installed the "pro-Jonathan" Bipi in his place.
Democracy without democrats: first, Mr. Bipi not only indulges in
contemptible idolatory with his confession of Mrs. Jonathan as his
Jesus Christ — his lord and personal saviour, as it were — but also
goes onto top that with a poor orphan cry. "I have no mother, I have
no father. She is my mother," he said. About the people, those who
sent him to the state's legislative chamber, not a word. Unless, of
course, his is a constituency of two: himself and Jonathan-Jesus. How
many Bipis people our public offices? I shudder to know.
Second, the purported impeachment. By all independent accounts, it was
done by four out of 32 members. The audacity of it, and the effrontery
of seeking to claim any validity for the action even after passions
should have cooled, is shocking beyond belief. It does not come close
to the pathos of the action to point to such obdurate impunity as just
another instance of democracy without democrats. Something infernal, I
think, has taken complete control of the minds of a fearfully large
number of our politicians. What this event proves is that our
democracy, far from maturing the farther we go from the horrors of
military tyranny, has, on thecontrary, become in essence more
infantile and crude. Majority of our politicians lack the necessary
acumen,discipline and comportment — in a word, character — to be
standard-bearers of democracy.
Thirdly, it is as a consequence of an insufficient appreciation of the
finer principles of democracy and federalism that the House of
Representatives moved, hastily, to take over the duties of the Rivers
Assembly under Section 11(4) of the Constitution when nothing short of
anemergency, as envisaged by Section 305 of the said Constitution,
would justify such an extraordinary step. While the event of 9 July is
utterly shameful, there is no indication that the "situation
prevailing" in the state was close to the sort of breakdown of law and
order contemplated by the constitution.Lastly, the warts of our
federalism were further displayed by the attitude of the state's
Commissioner of Police, Joseph Mbu. The incongruityof a governor,
supposedly the chief security officer of his state, being saddled with
a commissioner of police answerable to a federal authority makes
mockery of the concept of federalism. And a faulty federalism can only
produce a strangedemocracy. Or, "dividends of democracy" turned
fearful miracles.
omoliho@gmail.com