Democracy÷Dame=Dam-ocracy By Sonala Olumhense

Columnist: Sonala Olumhense
I make this small contribution to a growing school of study which is
strenuously trying to understand Dame Patience Faka Jonathan,
Nigeria's First Lady. For want of a better name, I will call them the
Damologists.
This effort is at some personal risk, as Mrs. Jonathan has previously
denounced me in a newspaper advertorial, an unwanted but telling
distinction.
It began with an article entitled: 'Patience Jonathan: Nigeria's Most
Powerful Woman,' on October 27, 2007.
Reflecting on how Mrs. Jonathan had been halted twice in one month by
the Economic and Financial Crimes Commission (EFCC) for
money-laundering only for both matters to disappear, Nigeria style, I
asked: "If Mrs. Jonathan can so effectively laugh at the so-called war
on corruption, does that not make her the First Lady?On what basis
does she perform her functions – the recommendations of the EFCC? Why
has Mrs. Jonathan assumed the status of untouchable, oris she truly
the nation's most powerful woman?"
I do not know if Turai Yar'Adua enjoyed the reference to another woman
as the nation's most powerfulahead of her, but it did not matter. I
was in the front row of the first class to study the emerging
phenomenon from Rivers State.
The first thing to understand is that Dame Patience Faka Jonathan is
no ordinary Nigerian. I know the history books refer to her as the
wife of President Goodluck Jonathan, but thatis wrong, and I say that
not because she famously numbered herself among the widows during the
2011 election campaigns. After all, those same infernal books also
refer to her as a Permanent Secretary in Bayelsa State, and we know
that to be false.
Who, truly, is Dame Jonathan? She is ateacher, a cautionary tale.
Her principal mission is to teach Nigeria a lesson.
Let me demonstrate.
Dame—or The Dame as she is often referred to—was not her title when
she was first introduced to the national limelight during her
money-laundering confrontations with the EFCC in 2006.
When Justice Anwuli Chikere of the Federal High Court, Abuja was
authorizing the freezing of the N104 million pending the conclusion of
an investigation into the money-laundering offence against her on
August 22 of that year, she was no Dame. When the EFCC announced
three weeks later had seized another$13.5 million from her, she was no
Dame, just the wife of the governor ofBayelsa State.
It is instructive that within two years, both cases against Mrs.
Jonathan all but vanished, generally mentioned only twice thereafter.
In the first, in 2010, Nuhu Ribadu, the EFCC supremo who introduced
her as a money-laundering suspect in the first place, denied there
were ever cases. He did not substantiate the claim, say where the
monies were, or answer the key questions.
In the second mention, in July 2011, the Coalition Against Impunity
and Illegality (CAGIL) announced a legal action against the EFCC for
refusing to bring Mrs. Jonathan to justice over the$13.5 million money
laundering allegations.
By then, of course, Mr. Jonathan had obtained the presidency in his
own name, and, I think, explained to the Dame the true meaning of his
"Transformation Agenda:" life on the executive jet with the keys to
the Central Bank in your hands.
Also, in that mid-2011, Mrs. Farida Waziri, a confidante of some of
Nigeria's most corrupt persons, had been given control of the EFCC and
had started to dismantle its records, disperse its personnel, and
unhinge its credibility.
Among her unsung victims, as the EFCC descended into infamy, was one
Osita Nwajah who, as EFCC spokesman in 2006, had made the announcement
in the international press concerning Mrs. Jonathan's $13.5 million
albatross.
But things don't always go according to the best Nollywood dreams, and
Mrs. Jonathan disappeared from public view in August 2012. Reports
ofher hospitalization abroad were either ignored by the government
headed by her husband, or denied.
One of the most important denials was by Mrs. Jonathan herself.
Returning to the country in October 2012 following several mysterious
weeks abroad, she denied ever being sick. She did not even know the
hospital about which she was linked in sickness, she swore.
Patience's pretence lasted about four months. In February 2013, at an
Aso Rock Thanksgiving service in which she was reported to have wept
publicly, she confessed how she had actually been so sick in September
and October of 2012 she had endured eight or nine surgeries in one
month.
"It was God himself in His infinite mercy that said I will return to
Nigeria," she said, swearing to work for the under-privileged from
then on. "God woke me up after seven days."
That was five months ago, during which time she appears to have
foundno time for the under-privileged. Instead, in the crisis in
Rivers, her home state, she has helped push the country to the
brink.The pattern here suggests that Mrs. Jonathan thinks of herself
as Mrs. President. Either that or somebody has been too scared to
explain the facts of life to her.
Either way, Mrs. Jonathan has made it her business, her style and her
focus to engineer crises wherever she goes, to expend authority she
does not have, to squander public resources to which she lacks
official access, and to drag the presidency into shark-infested
political waters.
If you want proof Mrs. Jonathan thinks she is Mrs. President or owns
one half of the presidency, read last week's imperious public
statement she madeon her involvement in the Rivers State crisis.
"This office wishes to call on all feuding parties in Rivers State…It
is our position…We subscribe to the fact that…"
This office? Our position? We?
If you cannot locate in the Nigerian constitution the office to which
she alludes, or cannot identify the political person on behalf of
which she uses those pronouns, it should beeasy to appreciate the
difficulties thatface the Nigerian state.
This is why Mrs. Jonathan has become Nigeria's most dangerous woman.
She diminishes and imperils the presidency as an institution. Her
range of vision stops at power as a tool for massaging her
considerable ego, or ice-cream for her appetite. As economies and
communities she has halted in mid-step for hours have found out, power
for her is a game.
Sadly, in this subversive role, it is President Jonathan that has
empowered his wife. While other leaders support their First Lady's
initiatives to provide hope and sustenance to the poor, or
opportunities to the talented, his own political ambitions have
blinded him to the alchemy he has brewed.
In case it is unclear, the Jonathans have accomplished two things.
The first is that they arrived with a lot of baggage to which they are
drawing renewed attention. The other is that under their dual
presidency, this Dam-ocracy, noon may yet be darker than the night.
The lesson Mrs. Jonathan teaches Nigerians is the need for perpetual
vigilance in order to protect the little we do have.
• sonala.olumhense@ gmail.com